Make a List

Two things about the title of this post: 1) it is absolutely, without a doubt, THE most commonly used phrase amongst the Quinlen parents and 2) in no way is it intended to suggest that you should make your own lists, post your answers to all of your friends on myspace, andthen suggest that they do the same. Seriously- I'm all for online communities, but the bulletin board thing has GOT to go, friends.

Since I tend to be a little wordy, I realize that if I tried to "write-up" UPA Nationals 2006 here on the old blog, I'd lose the few readers I have left after the first 30 paragraphs. So, in the spirit of my ancestors (Hi Mom and Dad!), I choose the list for its brevity. In chronological order, I present my 2006 Nationals experience, beginning with pre-airport pickup experiences:

10/25
5:00 PM - Leave work in order to pick Ned up at 5:30
5:25 PM - Make last minute detour to pick up Nix on the way to Ned's
5:34 PM - Scold Nix for bringing open container into car when police roadblock is visible 50 yards down the road
5:34:14 PM - Urge Nix to drink faster
5:42 PM - Comment that Ned will probably take, like, 10 minutes to get out of the house even though we are running late
5:45 PM - Arrive at Ned's
5:45:30 PM - Depart with Ned
6:30 PM - Personally make everyone late to the airport instead
8:10 PM - Depart for Sarasota
9:50 PM - Sarasota-side!
10:00 PM - Pile into the Wood's car in Sarasota
10:01 PM - Make royal stink about stopping for food on the way to the condos because I am so tired
10:13 PM - Order food at McDonald's drive through
10:30 PM - Arrive at condos, still whining about how tired I am

10/26
12:32 AM - Go to bed
7:00 AM - Begin consumption of coffee
8:30 AM - End coffee consumption
11:47 AM - Lose first game
1:45 PM - Lose second game
2:45 PM - Convince spectating 5th graders that we do not know Michael Vick personally; nonetheless am told that I am "SO cool!"
4:30 PM - Lose third game
4:42 PM - Beer tent
4:50 PM - Receive excellent massage from complete stranger while in line for refill
4:51 PM - Realize stranger is sketchy and old; walk away quickly
4:55 PM - Attempt to flirt with cute boy from enemy team; laugh at own joke; find self talking to self
4:57 PM - Talk to Atlanta friends instead
4:58 PM - Realize all Atlanta friends are married and/or masters; get back in line for beer
5:00 - 11:00 PM - Food and beer are probably involved

10/27
11:40 AM - Lose fourth game
Noon - Do my "prostrate child throwing temper tantrum" impersonation for Dorsey; receive high marks for use of pounding fists, swiveling head, and kicking feet
2:15 PM - Lose fifth game
2:20 PM - Beer tent
6:07 PM - Leave fields with Woods, Ned, and Asal
6:13 PM - Hit giant, gaping pothole, blow out front left tire
6:15 PM - Begin throwing disc on the side of the interstate
6:23 PM - Make Amy cry due to bad throwing ability
6:30 PM - Back on the road having contributed absolutely nothing to tire-changing effort and in spite of, like, practically killing Amy
7:08 PM - Christen Jewish Teddy
7:30 - 11:00 PM - Again with the food and the beer- who is really keeping track at this point?

10/28
8:30 AM - Leave condo to pile back into Wood's car
8:32 AM - Pile into KRuss's car instead as Wood's spare tire is also flat
11:10 AM - WIN ONLY GAME AT NATIONALS; still have hope at this point for 13th place
1:15 PM - Lose sixth and final game out of seven, decide 14th place was better anyway
1:20 PM - Hug almost everyone
1:45 PM - Beer tent
2:36 PM - Move over to watch Sockeye vs. Johnny Bravo in men's semis
2:37 PM - Develop inexplicable crush on Moses Rifkin
2:59 PM - Go back to beer tent
3:07 PM - Get called fat by guy I know but don't know very well
3:07:15 PM - Confirm that guy called me fat
3:07:28 PM - Do what any self-respecting woman would do; pull said guy over backwards in chair; cause beer to be spilled on Erica Connolly (Sorry EConn!)
3:08 PM - March away with air of miffedness; go with Woods and Ned and Asal to Woodmobile (featuring new tire!)
3:09 PM - Cry
3:12 PM - Admit that being called fat was really just, as it was later put, "a little piss on a giant pile of $#!*"; assume that going 1-6 and drinking for 3 hours may be contributing to said melancholy
3:17 PM - Continue crying
5:15 PM - Take brake from crying to find Erin
5:30 PM - Take refreshing walk on beach with Erin, cry some more
6:00 PM - Eat lots of pizza
7:00 - 10:15 PM - Enter and exit hot tub numerous times, say lots of stupid things, complain about hot tub not being even remotely warm due to 37 other people also in hot tub at same time
10:35 PM - Go with Asal to find Stephen and other Savannah folks
10:58 PM - Find Savannah folks
11:15 PM - Do apple pie shooters
11:40 PM - Begin game of flutter guts. In the dark. On the beach.
11:51 PM - Zero points later (on either side), announce that "this is the worst game of flutter guts I have ever played."
11:51:01 PM - Introduce eye socket to rapidly flying disc
11:51:10 PM - Still feel strongly about it being the worst game of flutter guts I have ever played

And the rest, if you have made it this far, pretty much involves sleeping, packing, watching the finals, treading upon Adrienne and practically crushing her with my bare feet, having a tiny shiner, and sort of being really glad when the weekend was over and I was home with my cat.

And, just for the hell of it, more lists. And this time I have ACTUAL lists:

Four Things I No Longer Love:
1) Little Earthquakes - Tori Amos
2) Goaltimate
3) Raw Spinach
4) Really high heels

Four Topics Not Recommended for Business Dinner Conversation:
1) Oral sex
2) Prison sex
3) Stripping
4) Proper oyster nomenclature

Five Activities in Which I Shall Participate This Winter:
1) Playing Ultimate in Chattanooga
2) Getting into awesome shape
3) Ruining Christmas
4) Singing. A lot.
5) Going home to Memphis

Top Three Questions Asked of Me by Ukrainian Sitting Next to Me at Work for Last 3 Weeks:
1) Can I borrow your tape?
2) Can I borrow your scissors?
3) Do you want my donuts?

Most Loathsome Groups of People (according to objectivists (in decreasing order of loathsomeness))*:
1) Communists
2) Socialists
3) Hippies
4) Nazis
5) People Who Believe in God

*- You should totally believe this because I totally know what I'm talking about

I think that's all. Oh! And the number of times I almost died on the road today is four. I'm done now.